
Nick and Jazz
Special | 8m 52sVideo has Closed Captions
A veteran of the Iraq war finds hope in coping with trauma in the form of a black lab named Jazz.
Years after serving in Iraq, Nick Carefelle still struggles with trauma from the war until he is united with a black lab names Jazz, a service dog that shows Nick that there is still a chance to find joy in life. With Jazz by his side, Nick takes on the challenges of a his daily struggle and plans for a brighter future and a new life for himself and his canine companion.
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Austin PBS Presents is a local public television program presented by Austin PBS

Nick and Jazz
Special | 8m 52sVideo has Closed Captions
Years after serving in Iraq, Nick Carefelle still struggles with trauma from the war until he is united with a black lab names Jazz, a service dog that shows Nick that there is still a chance to find joy in life. With Jazz by his side, Nick takes on the challenges of a his daily struggle and plans for a brighter future and a new life for himself and his canine companion.
Problems playing video? | Closed Captioning Feedback
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At night it seems to be when a lot of... my thoughts come to me.
Why does it feel like my heart's not beating right?
Why does it feel like I'm not breathing right?
And this goes on for hours.
What happens if I don't wake up?
And nobody finds me for weeks?
What's going to happen with Jazz?
And the last thing I think I remember feeling is I felt her move and start walking up towards the head of the bed.
And her take her place right where she likes to sleep.
By my shoulders pressed up against me.
I think that's finally what calmed me down enough to where I could fall asleep.
I hate nights like that, but I'm glad I got her.
Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning.
Yeah.
You ready for breakfast?
‘Kay let me see it.
After I got back in July of 2007 Um- everything was just kind of normal.
I was just happy to be back home.
Looking back on it now, it's just kind of subtle things.
You know?
I wasn't really wanting to go out too muc with my friends like I used to.
I found goin out at- grocery shopping and stuff at night felt a lot better.
The very first time it manifested was at my job I had at the time.
So I worked at- as a security guard at a big casino, kind of rode a bike around the parking garage and outside and stuff.
My chest started gettin real tight.
Like I started breathing rea heavy and then my body started getting tingly and vision started kind of blurring a little bit and really zeroing in.
Got back down to our security office in the back.
I like, barely got in the door before I collapsed down.
For a couple days I was fine.
And then it happened again.
And thats kind o when everything started really taking a nosedive.
I was bor and raised in Washington state.
I was the oldest of- including me, five kids.
When I joined the military, I wasn't even expecting to.
A recruiter called me one day and was like, ‘Hey, I'm with the Army.
Can I come and talk to you about joining?
Then the next day, the recruiter was over at the house and we were talking and that night my- I signed up and my parents signed a waiver ‘cause I was only, what, seventeen at the time?
I was a weapons mechanic out there.
So I supporte the whole northern part of Iraq.
When soldiers went out on missions, they'd bring me their weapons to calibrate and fix and do whatever so they were battle ready when they left.
Usually almost on a daily basis we were getting bombed, and at night we'd get woken up so much because of incoming mortar fire and stuff that we would just sleep with our vest by our bed.
You hear the sirens go off, you reach down, grab the vest and kind of pull it over like a blanket and go back to sleep.
You're like, Oh, if it's my time to go, it's gonna go.
So skrew it.
I might as well be rested.
Um- I'd been there for about five months, maybe six months or whatever, and this new unit rolled in.
The young private comes in and he's all gung-ho and ready to go, you know?
They take their weapons and leave.
A couple days later, they- That same specialis and that private come back in.
The private, he's not talking.
And I asked the specialist, Im like, Man, What's with the, what's with the private here?
I was like, last week- you know, last time I saw him, he was, He was cheerful.
I was like, Is he's not feeling good?
He's like, Nah they went out on a mission, man.
And he saw his best, best friend get liquefied.
And I looked at the kid, and.
He was alive, but he wasn't there.
There was nothing there anymore.
The look in his eyes I'll never forget.
You can't forget that.
I stopped like showering for days.
I never had the blinds open.
They were always shut.
I would be awake for day, da and a half, sometimes two days.
I was more than oka with just letting it consume me.
And I did for a long time.
I got another dog at the time.
My very first dog I had on my own.
He wasn't a service dog by any means.
He was just, just my dog.
Just his playful and goofy nature brought me back to a simpler time.
He brought me through the darkest parts of my life.
And he became my purpose.
Once I had to put him down, um- That's when I notice my mood was dipping down again.
And the therapist at the VA was like, Well, have you heard of the service dogs?
I've heard of them, But you know, why- Why do I need one?
And she told me about the program So, I got Jazz from Northwest Battle Buddies, and uh I credit he with pulling me back out of it.
You know?
From the very moment I stepped foot at Northwest Battle Buddies, Like, that was the most hope I've had in a long time.
They led her up to me and, She jumped into my lap, and, She was such a strong dog, and just kind of steady, and nothing fazed her, and she was ready to go.
And from that moment on, I was- I just felt like, she was meant for me.
I couldn't imagine not having her now.
She's brought joy back into my home ‘cause for a long time there wasn't any.
Youre makin this hard.
I wish people could feel what it's like to have that- Something that pulls you out of that mindset of loneliness and despair.
I don't know what it is that triggers these things, just all of a sudden they're there.
But, so is she.
It's like, Oh, okay, I can do this.
The only thing I can contribute it to is, it's- it's magic.
You know, people say Is there really magic out there?
Its magic.
This is my favorite part about having her, right here.
Where she doesn't need to work doesn't need to worry about me, Where she just gets to play and be a dog.
That's the best part.
I think it's time for me to head back up to Montana, where I feel a little bit more in tune with nature.
I miss the mountains.
I miss the cooler weather.
My hope for bringing her up there is her, Just having all the room in the world to run around, you know, to explore, to sniff.
That's my hope for her.
That's my want.
Hey everyone.
I just wanted to give a quick update.
We made it to Montana.
Me ‘n Jazz.
Hey.
We made it up to that trail that we really like.
Look at that.
If that's not God's country, I don't know what is.
In Missoula.
So, Yeah.
We're here.
We're happy.
Hope everybody's doing well.
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